38 Weeks

36 Weeks

I am 36 weeks pregnant.  I had an ultrasound today to make sure my placenta is still working (since last time it was dying early) and to make sure I have enough fluid around the baby.  We didn't even get a glimpse of her face.  She was face down, but at the top of my uterus.  Towards the end she flipped to a full breech position...head up, butt down.  She is stubborn, but everything looked great other than her position.

When I took this picture I felt like my belly had grown A LOT since last week...and since I haven't been so great at taking weekly pictures I decided to compare the two weeks.  I was shocked at the difference one week made! Holy smokes...we're going to have this baby in one month (or less).  

Wow...the time has flown by.

29 Weeks 2 Days

27 Weeks 3 Days

20 Weeks 4 Days

20 weeks pregnant with Baby Girl. I feel so much better this pregnancy...

16 Weeks

16 weeks pregnant with Baby Girl.  My weight gain is making me happy so far...and I feel pretty dang good!

Bed Rest: Take Two

I spent two weeks on bed rest (July 27-Aug 12).  It was so hard. Not only did I know I was using my very limited amount of sick time I need for maternity leave, but I couldn't take care of my family.  Thank goodness for Richelle, Lisa, Carlys, and other friends that brought in food and helped care for Blip.  Two weeks with a toddler was harder than the nine months of kid free bed rest I was forced to do last time.

11 Days

11 days after our embryos were transferred was the big day.  Mike and I went together last time, but this time I just went on my lunch break.  No reason for him to drive all the way to the east valley before work.  Last time I was so sure it was negative that I gave Mike's number for the results.  This time I just left mine as the number to call.  I had no reason to believe it didn't work this time, but I didn't really have any "signs" that I was or was not pregnant.  Mike was positive I was, but I was 50/50…same as last time.

Serena (my fave) called me with the good news!  She said I was pregnant…and we cheered!!  Rob was with me again this time since I got the call at work again.  I called Mike, but he didn't answer.  He sent me a text message saying he was in a briefing, so I responded that it was a bad time for a briefing, but a good time to be a daddy…again.  He called me back before he saw my text, so I got to tell him over the phone.  It seemed a lot like the first time all over again.  In a good way.

I asked Serena for my beta numbers…284.  If I remember correctly…my first beta with Blip was under 100.  The second beta came back  837.  We only needed the 284 to double, so 837 was a good number.  Mike was convinced the high numbers meant we were having twins, but I wasn't feeling it one way or another.  I guess I was leaning more toward twins, but I hadn't convinced myself of anything.  I just know I always imagined myself having a big family, so it never dawned on me that I would end up with only two kiddos.  Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Anyway…we are thrilled.  Our due date is March 17, 2015.  But I don't have babies on holidays, so hopefully he or she will make an appearance a few days before that.

p.s. I did happen to cheat the day before my blood test.  And just like last time…I didn't believe it was true. (and a huge thank you to Natty for helping me with the announcement pics!)

38 Weeks 4 Days ~ Update

**Let me preface this by saying I have never hoped (or wanted) my child would come early...especially early enough to have health issues.  I would never want anything other than THE very best for my son, so I am not writing this to get lectures from anyone on how wonderful it is that I am still pregnant and Blip is still enjoying time in the womb.  I'm just having a bad day. So just let me vent...please.**

We met with Dr. T this afternoon.  I think Mike and I both assumed we'd be leaving her office with a date for induction, but we were both very wrong. 

There is literally NO END IN SIGHT.  She is concerned about inducing me when my body is not progressing on its own.  She is worried that it will be such a long, hard labor that I will be forced in to a c-section...which I really do not want.

I don't want to be induced.  That would not be my first choice.  I have always dreamed of having one of the spontaneous "I'm in labor!" moments.  Maybe a water break...I dunno...just something exciting.  Something different than my sisters had.

However, I am in quite a bit of pain AND my ovaries have gone back up in size (They are back up to 6cm and 7cm...yes, please kill me or remove them immediately.  Did you know you can hate your own organs?).  I have been on this modified bed rest (which is now needing to be less modified and more often) for nearly 10 months, I am VERY quickly running out of paid time off as we speak, I am fat, bored, swollen, and quite frankly...I'm just plain done.

I was told to expect 32-33 weeks.  That came and went, so the next goal was 35 weeks.  After that was long gone, we hoped and prayed for 37 weeks.  I am almost 39 weeks and there is NO end in sight.

I have not progressed at all over the last week.  I am still only dilated 1 cm and 50% effaced.  I am not having any contractions...not even the stupid fake ones.  TMI: Over the last two days I have lost my mucus plug, but that honestly doesn't mean anything.  It could mean I will go into labor soon, but "soon" could just mean in this lifetime.  I have pretty bad period-like cramping, but again- that doesn't mean anything other than I have bad cramps to add to my discomfort.  I am so swollen it hurts to walk...putting pressure on my feet is nearing torture some days.  My entire body is squishy.  My tailbone feels bruised, I am getting more stretch marks, and I have four chins.

On top of all this fun, I am helping throw Sydney's bridal shower next Friday (02/17).  I never NEVER thought...not even for a second...that I would be sitting here pregnant on February 6th.  I never thought I would be stressing out over not starting my "maternity leave" yet (not that six lousy weeks can be called that when I have to go to work and leave my infant that can't even hold his head up to take care of some moron that can't keep his hands (or gun) to himself...or better yet- get a job and stop taking other people's stuff by force), not having the baby long before the shower...let alone the possibility I will be having the baby DURING the shower.  Ruining both events for everyone.

So not only have I not been able to help Richelle with the shower planning (because of stupid bed rest and stupid endless doctor's appointments), but now it would be a shock if I am able to help DURING the shower...and if I'm having the baby, how will she be with me?  I was a bride (twice now), so I know how important this all is to Syndey (who is being flown in for the shower).  I also know how important all of this is to me, so I am torn on what to feel about who and what and blah.

I am so stressed.  You'd think the stress would start my labor, but nope.  Who needs a paycheck?  Who needs to be able to follow through with their commitments?  Who needs to be pain-free?  Who needs to start losing 80 lbs so she can fit into a dress at Syndey's wedding in April? 

My positive attitude is obviously GONE for today.  I just feel miserable...and slightly depressed.  Which makes me feel worse...since we are talking about the health of my child.  I'm already a bad mother...willing my baby to be born before he wants to be so I can throw a party for someone else...and now I'm also a crybaby.  Awesome.

I have never felt so helpless in my entire life.  (That's probably an exageration, but it feels very true right this second.)

And yes...I know how badly I wanted to be pregnant.  I know how much money we spent getting pregnant (trust me...I write the stupid check EVERY month).  I know everyday Blip stays in is better for him.  Well...actually...he's full term, so I'm over that one.  I think that's why I am so stressed about all of this.  He would be just fine to come today.  And that would still put me in bad timing for work and for the shower, but at least I know I would NOT be in the hospital DURING the shower.

There is nothing I can do, but sit around and think about all of this.  I am so tired of not sleeping (OMG yes...I know I will be even more tired when the kid gets here...again- not stupid), peeing all night, snoring, sleeping on my side until it goes numb and I have to switch sides...all night long.  I am tired of my hands and feet falling asleep constantly.  I am tired of taking my stupid blood pressure.  I am tired of having every issue possible, but NOT one of them is THAT bad...yet.

I also learned the fun news that there is a 99% chance my own doctor will NOT be delivering me. Ugh.  I knew if it happened in the middle of the night we'd get the on-call doctor, but I assumed that if it happened during the day we'd get Dr. T. 

Nope.  In that practice, whoever is on-call at your hospital is the one doing the delivering...day or night.  So the very best chance I have for Dr. T delivering Blip is to have the baby THIS Thursday at Banner Estrella...where/when she will be on-call.  She isn't on-call at all next week.

I really love Dr. T, but I guess I was too stupid to ask this question when we switched.  My old OB(s) all delivered their own patients...unless it was after hours.  I thought this place would be the same.  Ugh.  I have heard great things about many doctors at this practice, but I just want my own doctor to deliver me.  This news just added to my bad day.

On top of all that crap- Mike and I can't seem to communicate about any of this.  He doesn't understand my point of view...and I am too tired and too stressed to figure out a better way to communicate it to him.  Maybe tomorrow I will figure out how to explain what I am feeling to him.  Or not.  Who knows.

I guess I am done whining/venting.

**sigh**

Date Night

We were invited out to celebrate Sarah's birthday this weekend.  It ended up being perfect...we got to spend time with Patrick and Sarah (two weekends in a row) AND we were able to have one last night out BC...before child.  The next time we go out on a date...we will be needing a babysitter.  Weird. 


AMC has a relatively new thing (new to us?) called dine-in theaters.  We met Patrick and Sarah and the AMC Esplanade for dinner and a movie all in one.  Mike and I had been wanting to try this, so it was perfect.

The theaters are set-up  with stadium style seating, but the chairs are all leather recliners.  We chose our dinner from a full menu (they have a full bar too) and even had a server that waited on us.  Mike ordered a prime rib sandwich and I ordered the prime rib tacos.  We agreed to share our food, so we could taste each meal.  We also ordered dessert to share...and cherry Cokes.  Dinner was about $40...so no more expensive (probably less expensive) than anywhere else we would have gone for dinner.  The food was pretty good too.


We also snapped a few pictures of our two pregnant bellies.  Sarah is due with their son at the end of May...so she is about four months behind me.  We are super excited that they are having a boy...especially since Blip and "Ike" will be so close in age.  I had NO idea how HUGE I look...I am.  And I mean all of me. Ugh.

This kid better love me.


We had a really nice time out together.  We were on our way home by 9:30pm.  We felt lame, but couldn't think of anything else we were up for doing.  We ended up watching a movie in bed together...which was a pretty good ending to date night for a gimp and a preggo.

37 Weeks 6 Days

I'm so close to the end, but it doesn't feel like it.  I keep waiting for it to hit me...38 weeks tomorrow and I don't feel like this pregnancy will ever end.  I don't mean this in a bad way.  It's just the truth...it's hard to imagine having this portion of our life end and our new life begin.


And a massive diet/work out plan will also begin around here for the two adults as soon as the doctor gives her blessing.  Blip will also join in...but just from his jogging stroller every evening.  I can't wait for getting dressed to NOT be a chore...both in bending over and in choosing clothing.


I am officially "that" pregnant girl...the one whose clothes don't quite fit over her belly, but refuses to buy one more piece of maternity clothing.  Yep...that's me...the one with the blue band of maternity stretch popping out from underneath. Oh well.  I usually spill food on one of my shelves (the boobs or the belly) during the day too.  Pregnancy has honestly just made me a hot mess with two chins...and really huge boobs. (huge)  The belly part is just fun.  Hopefully I will remain so thrilled with it after the baby comes OUT and it is still a part of me.  I doubt it, but we'll see.  :)


****


This week has been interesting so far.  Dr. T asked me to stay down and off my feet more, so I have been doing more of that.  My blood pressure seems to be on a roller coaster, but mostly it's good.  One thing I was told to watch for was a headache that made me see spots.  If I was to get one of those, I am to go to OB Triage.  Well...last night...I got one.  


I tried to pretend I didn't, but after about 90 minutes (or so) I decided I probably shouldn't pretend any longer.  I called Mike at work...and then called Richelle.  It was about 10pm.  I told them I was going to take a shower before anything else...always my first answer to a possible hospital visit.


When Mike got home, he ordered me to get dressed because we were going to the hospital. Damn.  I normally whine my way out of it, but I knew he was right.  Better safe than sorry, right?


We checked in and were seen pretty quickly.  My spot seeing had gone away and my headache was much less than in the beginning, so the nurse monitored Blip for a bit...did a urine sample and checked my blood pressure.  Everything checked out, so we were sent home after a few hours.  


We were both exhausted by the time we pulled into the garage.  My allergies have been kicking my butt since late last week, so my sleeping is even worse than it has been.  And with the massive amount of weight I have gained...I guess my snoring also comes in massive amounts and volumes.  Poor Mike spends many nights tossing and turning trying to tune me out...more recently he has started sleeping in Raelynn's room or on the couch to get away from my snoring.  And that doesn't touch on the potty breaks I take all night long.  He's not a deep sleeper, so everything wakes him up.  Poor guy.


This morning we met with Dr. T for my weekly appointment.  It was just a regular old check-up, but she did have some good news.  My body finally progressed towards having this baby!!  I was dilated 1 cm today and 50% effaced.  I'm smart enough to know that's not any kind of active labor, but hey...it's a start!!  And we'll take it.


This afternoon we had a growth ultrasound at the Perinatologist's office.  We had a chick we'd never had before, but she did a good job.  She thoroughly measured Blip...he is still measuring a bit small for "average" babies, but he is growing just as he should.  Three weeks ago he measured 5 lbs.  Today he measured 6.5 lbs.  That's right on track for gaining about 1/2 lb a week...which would be considered the norm.  He is now in the 24th percentile...up from the 13th.


Everything else looked good, so she sent us on our way with a few new picture of our son.  We are so close to my due date that I didn't even have to make an appointment for another growth ultrasound.  That's reality for ya.


We left the office pretty dang happy.  Dilated a teensy bit...and a perfect baby still warm and snug inside of me.  We've made it so far...and everything that we prepared ourselves for that could have gone wrong has worked itself out.  I am so thankful for all the blessings we have received...from actually getting pregnant with less than perfect embryos to possible heart defects to delivering too early.  We are so very blessed to be in our very own shoes.


I can't wait to meet this little guy.  There aren't words to describe how anxious I am...I feel so many things when I think about what's about to happen.  I just can't wait to hold my very own baby in my arms.  I just want it to happen already.


(I am really behind on scanning in U/S pics...so maybe I will get that done and get them put in the blogs they belong in.  If I don't do it before the baby graces us with his presence, it may never get done.)

37 Weeks

Not a lot has happened this week...that I can remember. haha ;)


We met with Dr. T on Wednesday.  My body has not made any progress  towards starting labor...ugh.  I have several issues, but not one of them has crossed the threshold  into the "we need to take the baby" zone.  

My thyroid has been under control my entire pregnancy, so at this point...it isn't causing an issue.


We still have the Persistent Right Umbilical Vein issue, but it honestly doesn't seem to be a real issue.  Everything else that it would affect has not been affected, so it just is what it is.


I am very swollen...especially my hands.  My feet aren't looking so great either, but dang my fingers are fat.  I also have a fluid pocket below where the baby is sitting, but it does't seem that big to me.  Maybe my gigantic baby belly overshadows that?


My blood pressure is high, but not high enough.  I am averaging in the 140s/80s...my highest being 149/91.  Dr. T is concerned I am mildly pre-eclamptic...or that I have hypertension.  I don't really want either one, but I guess it isn't my choice.  Dr. T sent me for more testing at the hospital.  




I already had my NST the day prior, but she sent me for another.  She also had me get some blood work done and she had me do a 24-hours urine collection test.  (For the record...that was gross.  You have to keep ALL the urine collected in the freaking fridge. Gross.  I know I'm not the first person to do this test, but ick.)

(My newest stretch marks...ugh.  I guess I should feel luck they aren't all over my belly...  Being a girl sucks.)

I am still going to the hospital twice a week for NSTs and on Fridays (my second appointment) I also get an AFI to measure my amniotic fluid.  Normal is between 5-25 (cm, I think).  My levels have been at 12...then last week it was at 11.  This week she first measured me at a six...then remeasured me at an eight.


One of of the concerns is that Blip is measuring small.  That could be because Blip is small...or that IVF babies are statistically smaller than non-IVF babies.  Or it could be because the placenta is no longer working properly.  If the fluid levels drop, that would indicate the placenta is not working properly.


Because my numbers were still within normal, we were sent home.  I was concerned that my fluid levels seemed to have dropped significantly over the last week, so I called Dr. T as we drove home.  I left a message for her medical assistant and waited for a return call.

A few hours later, I received a call from one of the nurses in the office.  She told me Dr. T was not in the office, but that she took my questions/concerns to another OB in the office (Dr. W).  That OB was also conceded with the drop in fluid levels, but because I am still within normal, she did not believe anything needed to be done immediately.  Dr. W does want us to have a more in depth ultrasound to measure the baby on Monday. The nurse said she would have someone call to schedule us for the ultrasound on Monday...she also said she would inform Dr. T of what was going on.


After that call, I received another call. This time it was Jean...my nurse that does my NSTs at the hospital.  I really like Jean.  She told me that the doctor (not sure who he is, but someone over Maternal Fetal Medicine at the hospital) was unhappy with my NST results.  She said he wanted me to come back to the hospital and redo it and he wanted a BPP (BioPhysical Profile ultrasound) done too.  Just to be safe.


I was at Richelle's house when I got the call, so I drove home...threw some of the stuff I think I need into a bag, ate dinner and then drove myself to the hospital.  I half-packed so if I didn't get to come home after the test, it would be easier for my sisters to pack my hospital bag for me.  


I have been putting it off for weeks now.  I'm not sure why I don't want to pack it, but every time I say I am going to do it...I find something else (like sitting on the couch) to do.  I think it just bothers me to pack a bag I may not need for weeks...and there are things that go in that bag that I use every day, so I just think it's all stupid.  Not sure what my problem is.


Now there is a suitcase on my floor with a bunch of Target bags tossed in or near it.  I'm sure whoever finishes packing that bag (if it's not me) will be pissed...and I'm sure Mike loves tripping over it, but I don't feel compelled to pack it yet.  I hope that isn't a sign that I will be pregnant FOREVER!!  Cause that's how it feels...like this is the never-ending pregnancy.


We will wait to see what comes of the ultrasound on Monday.  Dr. T also asked me to move my "normal" growth ultrasound up a week, so that is scheduled for this coming Wednesday.  However, the one Monday may take its place...not sure about that yet.


We are as ready as we are going to be.  I need to do some stuff to Blip's nursery still, but again...I can't get motivated.  I started washing some of his clothes, but it feels weird to wash his stuff when he isn't here yet.  All of his stuff is put together (the swing, bouncy seat, stroller, car seat, etc.)...we are just in the holding pattern, I guess.

To My Sweet Son

To my sweet son, 

I have been thinking a lot about your impending arrival over the last few weeks.  Although I have wanted you for more years than I can count, the fact that you will be here...in my arms...in a few short weeks (maybe even days) astounds me.  There is so much I want to teach you.  So many things I want to protect you from.  So many things I want you to experience.  

As your due date nears, I find myself missing my own mother more and more.  I will teach you about her as you grow, but it breaks my heart that you will not know her on this Earth.  During my adult life, there have been many occasions I wish my mother were here to experience with me.  None of those life events can compare to how much I long for her now.  I don't think I knew how much I missed her in my own life until I found out I would myself become a mother.  There are so many questions I want to ask her...and so much advice I wish she could freely give me.  There are so many questions I have for her. 

It's hard to explain, but I am already so in love with you.  I've never held you, and other than an ultrasound, I've never even seen you...yet I can't imagine life without you.  You aren't even here yet and I already understand why my mother wanted so badly to beat her cancer.  During those six long months, my mom told us she wasn't afraid to die, but she did not want to leave us...her kids.  16 years later...as you grow in my belly...I understand what she meant.


Conceiving you was a challenge.  I'm sure you'll have heard the story more times than you will care to remember, but I want you to know how thankful I am for those trials.  Although I always wanted to be a mother, I think suffering through infertility strengthened that desire.  It also forged a bond between your daddy and me that is hard to explain.  Our marriage, like every marriage, has its good days and its bad, but our struggle...together with my hard pregnancy really helped to solidify our family.

My pregnancy with you was not easy.  Although...I honestly don't know pregnancy to be anything than what is has been.  I wish I could have been healthier after all of the hormones were introduced into my system for so many weeks.  I didn't know how much those fertility drugs would affect me.  I always planned to work right up to my due date.  I never imagined being unable to work nearly the entire time.  I have only been able to do a few activities for months now.  It's frustrating at times, but there is also a "good" side to it too.  I would have done anything to make sure you were able to grow inside of me...and to be delivered at a healthy stage.

I have truly loved every second of just feeling you move and squirm and grow inside of me.  There were so many days I got to lay in bed or on the couch and just enjoy you.  It has always amazed me how much I have loved to feel you move.  I waited for it to get annoying, but it never did.  The bigger you grew, the more I could feel you.  As much as I want to you be ready to join us here, I know I will miss those moments that were shared only between the two of us.  Your dad and I spent hours laying together just feeling and watching you move...we laughed a lot and loved every second of it.


The days and weeks are slowly, but quickly passing as your dad and I prepare for you to come live with us.  You are already our favorite topic.  All the things you will need (and we will need for you) are quickly taking over our house.  We have done our best to make sure you will be comfortable...and sleep as much as possible. Haha :)


I have done my best to journal all of our experiences thus far...from trying to conceive you, through the trials of pregnancy.  I will continue with your birth and your milestones as you grow.  It's something my mother did for me...as best she was able.  I pray I don't leave this Earth as early in your life as my mother did, but someday I won't be here to tell you the stories, so I want you to know them with or without me here.  


Son, a lot will be expected of you.  Your dad and I will give you all the tools you need to succeed.  You will never be without the things you need, but you will not always get what you want.  We pray everyday you will grow in to a man of integrity.  A man who works hard, and strives to take care of his own needs and his family's needs when the time comes.  We want you to one day have your own family...that you love and take care of.  A man who believes in Christ and wants to be like Him.  A man who stands up for what's right...and doesn't make excuses.


The most important thing I want you to remember is this- You are loved...from long before you were born we have loved you, prayed for you, and longed for you to be here in our arms.  I don't regret anything.  I have tried to embrace each step of this journey...and I hope I have not only endured it well, but lived it each day with the right attitude and the right amount of grace.  I have done my best to make sure you were able to stay inside of me to grow and thrive until it you were ready...and healthy enough to come out and join the world.


I am so anxious to meet you.  I can't wait to hold you in my arms and whisper in your ear how much I love you...over and over.  Always remember this:  I promise "I'll love you forever. I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living...My baby you'll be."


Love, 


Mom

9 Months Pregnant

Today made 36 weeks pregnant.  I can't believe we made it this far!!  I am super excited, but I am so ready to be done.  Over the last week or so, I have been experiencing the reasons women complain about their comfort level while pregnant...heart burn, dislocated ribs (it really feels that way), no sleep, peeing constantly, etc.)


I think I feel pretty good.  My ovaries are still at least double what they should be...not sure how much they add to my pain, but there is a definite difference between discomfort and pain,


I met with Dr. T on Tuesday.  I haven't dilated at all, but that's good for the baby, for now.  Blip is measuring small.  He's in the 13th percentile at just under 5 lbs.  Dr. T said at this time we have nothing to worry about.  It is not abnormal for IVF babies to be born a bit smaller, but 6 lbs isn't any smaller than normal, non-IVF babies in my family.  

I will continue to do my NSTs and AFIs (to measure my amniotic fluid levels) twice a week to ensure that Blip's smaller size is not because the placenta stopped working properly.  I didn't like to hear this, but so far, everything appears to be functioning properly...and it could just be that he's small.


I have been having back cramps (like awful period cramps).  They aren't my favorite part so far...especially since I can't take any decent medicine to dull the ache.  Oh well.  Dr. T said this is normal...even though my body hasn't progressed any.


My feet and hands are still swollen.  My hands always look awful, but my feet look best when I stay off them.  Both my hands and my feet fall asleep a lot...the tingly, pins and needles feeling was annoying the first time.  It's so bad it wakes me up at night.  Weird.


My blood pressure is still going up and down.  It's averaging around 140/85.  Higher than we'd like, but it hasn't gone much higher than that, so no immediate concern about that.

As of our appointment this week (I was 35 weeks 5 days), we are hoping to go until Blip is ready to come on his own.  I will be honest...I hope he is ready as soon as we hit 37 weeks.  I am hoping Dr. T will induce me at 39 weeks if everything stays as it is right now.  I would hope for 38 weeks, but I need more significant medical issued to arise for that to happen.  I've read that normally IVF babies come early on their own, but I haven't done anything normally thus far, so....we'll see.


I have been mentally preparing myself to go back to work when Blip is 6 weeks old (8 if c-section), but the closer I get to having this baby...the harder it seems to leave him that soon.  Ugh.  Stupid modified bed rest....it so screwed me.  Oh well...it is what it is.  I can't change anything, so I need to figure out how to deal with it.


I have no complaints.  I have never been happier than I am right now.  Happy, but terrified...and excited.

Blip's Growth

Today we had another growth ultrasound.  Before we left, we begrudgingly made one more appointment for one month from now...even though nobody believes Blip will still be growing inside of me in four more weeks.  One can hope, right?


When I arrived, I signed in and requested that I not have the chick that did our scan last time.  She was awful.  We had her once before....and she was awful then too.  I did not want her awfulness ruining my week.  I felt quite bitchy asking not to have her, but she was really awful.


We got our favorite, Terri.  She's had us the most...and she is just as excited to see Blip as we are.  She loves to let us look at his face for a long time...she always points out how he sticks his tiny tongue out.  


Today she pointed out the little bit of hair he has growing on his head...she guessed it was no more than "peach fuzz".  Mike and I were both bald and my heart burn has not been as unbearable as I've heard about, so peach fuzz sounds about right.


She also pointed out his chubby cheeks...the ones I can't wait to kiss.


The baby was very quiet today.  He's normally very active, but he only moved a few times during the 20-25 minute ultrasound.  He was doing his "practice breathing" (with the amniotic fluid) the entire time, so Terri could not measure his belly.


She was able to get the couple of measurements needed to tell us how he is measuring in totality.  Today I am 34 weeks 4 days...Blip was measuring 33 weeks and 4 days.  He hasn't been behind an entire week until now.  Since his growth was a concern of the  Perinatologist's, I am wondering what's next.  I meet with Dr. T tomorrow, so hopefully I will know more then.

Miracle Maker

We stopped in to see Dr. Behera this afternoon.  I had no idea how happy I would be to see her again.  It's been about 25 weeks since our last appointment, but it feels like forever.  As soon as she saw us, she had a huge smile on her face...and we embraced.  

We stood and talked with Dr. Behera and Serena (her medical assistant) for a while.  We laughed about all the people I have sent to meet with Dr. Behera...she wondered if she's now met ALL my friends.  I wonder how many people I have referred?  Hmmm...a lot.

We snapped a couple pictures, talked about Blip, the pregnancy and said our goodbyes.


After we left, Mike and I were talking about how Dr. Behera has changed our lives.  I wonder if she truly knows what she has done for so many like us.  Infertility is such a dark hole...it's painful and lonely.  It seems never ending and hopeless.  She specializes is doing everything in her ability to bring people through those hard times to happiness.

Fat Feet

I have been watching for signs of preeclampsia since my doc noticed my blood pressure several weeks ago.  Luckily, my blood pressure has stayed low, with only an occasional rise to a level we aren't comfortable with.


This week my feet have become swollen...and stayed that way.  I no longer have ankles...and my calves look swollen too.  My flip flops are even leaving marks now.  My fingers have been fat for a while, but now they are really swollen...and even my wrists are swollen.

My blood pressure was 140/90 this week, but has since gone back down to more normal.  When I meet with Dr. T next week, she will be able to give me more info on what we need to do about my blood pressure.


While at the hospital today for my NST, I was told to watch for blurred vision, seeing spots or a headache that can't be relieved with a Tylenol.  If one of those things occurs, I am to go immediately to the hospital.


So really nothing new to report.  I am happily 34 weeks this week....I can't believe how close we are to holding this little guy in our arms.

Ice Cream Cone

We had dinner with our good friends the other night at Red Robin.  I am having an issue with needing chocolate lately...and I hate chocolate, so I blame the baby.  I decided instead of a chocolate shake I wanted to stop and get some Thrifty Ice Cream on our way home. Mmmm....chocolate malted crunch!! (and a scoop of mint chip for good measure, right?)


Mike is very sweet and obliged.  Unfortunately, we pulled up as they were locking the door.  Damn.


I asked Mike to take me to Baskin Robins as a pretty decent alternative.  I can always be super happy with a scoop of chocolate & peanut butter and a scoop of mint chip.  31 Flavors closes at 10pm, so I knew we'd be safe.


We walked inside and I must have looked excited....the guy behind the counter immediately mentioned they were out of mint chip!!!  That about took the wind out of my ice cream happiness sails.  I thought for a second...and asked if I could purchase a pre-packed quart of mint chip...and then he could scoop out a scoop for me into a waffle cone with my scoop of chocolate & peanut butter.


He looked at my belly....and told me, "Sure!"


I grabbed a quart of mint chip (and one of chocolate & peanut butter for good measure) and handed them over.  He made me my waffle cone...and fixed what Mike ordered, we paid and were off.


Mike thought it was hilarious.


I thought it was completely normal...and very smart.

NST

Today was my first non-stress test (NST) at Banner Thunderbird.  


I was no big deal...just took nearly three hours.  I am hoping it will be a bit quicker now that I am registered and all questions about my medical history have been answered.


They strapped me to a monitor and monitored Blip for about 30 minutes.  He's a mover and a shaker, so it took a few minutes longer than normal to get all the info they needed.  He refused to move for our 4D ultrasound, but he wouldn't sit still for this stupid (free) test.


After they determined he was complete perfection, I waddled down the hall to the ultrasound room.  A super nice ultrasound tech explained what she needed to measure and then we got started.  She did an AFI...which basically measures the amniotic fluid Blip currently lives in.  I think I measured a nine....and between 5 and 25 is "normal".  So that was perfect too.  

The ultrasound tech also gave us a good look at Blip's heart (it's probably one of our favorite parts of every ultrasound)...and a nice long look at him sticking his tongue out.  That's definitely my favorite part.  She was so nice and let us just stare at our little guy...it was fun.


I've had more ultrasounds than I can keep track of.  It's the only good part of having so many issues.  It's funny that it never gets old.  I could lay there and look at the fuzzy pictures all day long.  It just makes me happy.


Although I hope and pray my next pregnancy has 100% less complications, it will be hard not to see the baby all the time.  We have been spoiled...and I like it.


My blood pressure was really low (more like normal) today.  So I'm  thinking that's a good sign as far as the avoiding pre-eclampsia goes.  I hope everything stays on track...it feels nice to be told normal numbers and etc for a change.


I will continue to do these NSTs twice a week until Blip makes his grand entrance.  I am ready to not be pregnant....or at least to be allowed to get some real exercise and to not feel like my pelvis is being ripped in half.

Tonight is the first time I really broke loose and just said "screw it".  I organized a bunch of Blip's stuff.  I really just got it mostly put in one place.  Anna is coming to paint this weekend, so the playroom and the nursery needed to be emptied out.  I drug/pushed all of Blip's new stuff to the living room and stacked it along the wall.  All of his furniture and bathroom stuff is upstairs on the landing.  


That pile is just child restraints (one infant carrier and two convertible seats), his stroller, swing, bouncy seat, a portable swing (for upstairs...and it was free), his Bumbo chair, his booster chair (instead of a high chair...we think), exersaucer, diaper bags, porta-crib/bassinet, and a second smaller porta-crib to either stay downstairs or go the babysitter's house (from a friend of a friend for $10!), a box of blankets/towels, a bag of bottles/pacifiers/etc...You get the idea.  Across the room from all that crap the diapers we've been collecting are stacked up.


Nothing has been opened yet.  I have been waiting for the nursery to be finished, so I have a place to put everything.  I decided I should at least start washing the blankets, towels and washcloths. Once his furniture is in place, I can start washing some of his new clothes.  I think just about everything is hanging in Blip's closet...I took a picture of just his 0-3 months/newborn clothes.  They are so tiny and so cute!!

 This week my sisters took me to Buy Buy Baby to buy my stroller and a few other items.  I can't wait to open everything and get it all put together.  It's shocking to me how much stuff we have acquired...and how much we've spent.  Yikes!!  Luckily, I'm not a big believer in blue and pink, so almost everything is pretty gender neutral and can be used for the next baby no matter what sex he or she may be.  I am far (far) from a feminist, but I really hate how gender specific some of this crap is.


Tomorrow is New Year's Eve...I am thankful I am not in the dark place I was last year at this time.  I was really struggling with our infertility...I didn't even leave the house.  I avoided several friends' parties.  I can't believe how much difference a year (and really expensive fertility drugs) can make.  I am thankful for how far Mike and I have come in this year.  I am so very thankful for Blip...he's already brought so much joy to my life.  I am so excited to meet him.

Blip in 3D

We had our gender ultrasound at 14 weeks (almost exactly) with a company called Baby's First Ultrasound.  We were happy with their service, so we decided to go back for a 3D/4D ultrasound.  They told us the best time for this ultrasound was between 28-32 weeks...so we decided since I am 32 weeks we should hurry and get it done.

This was the first thing we saw.  Yep.  Blip's head and feet are in the same location...which puts his butt up near the top of my uterus...still on the right side.  It doesn't look very comfy, but when you're tiny and don't have to compete with gravity...I guess anything goes.

We were given (I really mean we paid for) 83 pictures on a disc...so these are just a few.  Blip was also caught with his umbilical cord in his mouth...gross.  We'll have to talk about what goes in your mouth and what doesn't. :) haha

We also have an album with a bunch of these pictures (that'll I will be carrying around with me and trying to show off to people) and a video (the 4D portion of the ultrasound).

There aren't words to describe how I feel.  I am so anxious...I want this little guy to cook as long as he needs, but I can't wait to meet him.  I feel like I've been waiting forever...and at the same time it's shocking to me that I am 32 weeks pregnant.


I sat here by myself tonight looking through all these pictures of the tiny life growing inside of me.  As tears streamed down my face, I thanked my Heavenly Father for this amazing miracle.  I don't understand how anyone cannot believe we were created by someone greater than us.  

Mike and I made this human being...he started out smaller than a poppy seed (in a lab too).  Now he has a heart, a brain, lungs...toes, lips, eyes...and everything else needed to sustain life.  He moves and grows inside of me.  I have never been more humbled by any other experience I have been through.


I love to feel Blip moving inside of me.  Nothing brings me greater joy than to sit and just enjoy him.  I am loving all the movement I can feel as Blip grows.  I also love seeing the movement.  

Blip lays along my right side.  Today in the ultrasound he was still head-down...with his legs up at his head too.  This explains why I feel a lot of kicking below my belly button...and his head can still be down.  The right side of my belly is rock hard.  The left is empty and looks slightly deflated.  It makes me laugh.  Almost all the movement I feel is on my right side.


Although I do have pain (often), I wouldn't trade this experience for anything.  I have some heartburn, but nothing a couple Tums won't fix.  So far, it really isn't as bad as I thought it would be.  I'm sure some of the other crap makes up for it.

I am truly in love with my life.  I never thought I would be here...I am so thankful I made it.