Flying (Stand)by the Seat of Our Pants

We left the Hoffman's and headed for the the house my mom grew up in. We learned from Uncle Alan that Grampy & Grammy originally bought the property just south and moved into the home on that property. They also bought the property next door for $50 and eventually had the house they raised their family in built for $12,000.

On the way there, we found some cattails. I was So excited!! My mother LOVED cattails...she used to squeal with excitement when we'd see them growing somewhere.

When we finally found it we were so excited!! We'd seen a few pictures, but never in person.

The cherry tree my mom used to talk about climbing all summer to sit in & eat cherries was still there (at least we think it's the same one). The house was so cute.

Then we drove to the Chief Sealth HS, where my mom graduated from. After HS graduation she left for BYU, where she met and married my dad (in 1966)...and graduated with her bachelors in 1969.

We were flying stand-by...so latest flight headed to Phoenix left at 7:05 pm. We raced toward the floating bridges that cross Lake Washington...made a loop and headed back west on another floating bridge that ended up taking us right to the the ferry for Bainbridge Island. We didn't care where it was going, we just wanted to drive our little car onto the boat and go for a ride.

We sat in the car on the ride over to Bainbridge...drove off the boat...made a u-turn...got back on the ferry in order to accomplish the other goals we had in our limited time. On the ride back we went up to the passenger decks and looked around. It was fun...totally a different lifestyle than we are used to. We liked it. We took a few pictures and then went back to the car.

After the ferry ride, we drove toward the fish market. We needed to fill-up on good food before the long flight. We knew once we got to the airport and on the plane...there would be no chance at eating until after 10pm.

We walked around the market for a bit...and even took our turn in gum alley.

We drooled over the beautiful flowers and I longed for a farmer's market that was even a fraction of theirs. I haven't seen tomatoes like theirs in Arizona ever. EVER.

We found some fresh clam chowder in sourdough bowls and shared a shrimp cocktail. After we stuffed ourselves, we walked across the street to the original Starbucks. There isn't really anything special about this place...they have the original logo & that's about it for being different than the others. There is one on nearly every corner in Seattle...literally. Even at the same intersection we saw more than one. Kinda funny.

We raced our little roller-skate rental car back to the airport...we decided to chance it and not fill the car up with gas. We weren't sure if we'd given ourselves enough time to make the flight...plus detouring for gas made us too nervous. When the rental car guy announced it was a $9 charge for gas...we high-fived!! Best 9 bucks yet.

We made the flight and had an uneventful ride home. It was the shortest trip ever, but every second was a memory worth making.

Old Friends

We woke up on Wednesday in time to get ready and head over the cemetery for Grammy's burial. I was excited (not sure that is the right word?) to finally see where Grampy was buried...he died when I was four, but I have THE most vivid memories of him. All of my siblings make fun of me, but I don't care. I know what I remember...and that's what counts. I can still remember the day he died. I was heartbroken. It was nice to finally see where his final resting place on this Earth was.

When we arrived, Alan and Diane introduced to the small crowd gathered at the grave site. A white haired man I had never met, one of the Hoffman brothers, walked up to us with tears in his eyes and told us how much he loved our mother...and how sorry he was she was gone. He then told me how much I looked like my mother...

It was so unexpected and so heartfelt. There just aren't words. My mom has been gone for so long...it was so nice to meet people that knew her as a child/teenager. The love for her was apparent...it was awesome.

Alan dedicated the grave and a few words were said. After that, we were able to learn some family history, thanks to Uncle Alan. He spoke/answered questions for us as we walked around locating family graves.

Next to Grampy's (and now Grammy's) grave, my mom's baby brother, Ricky Tew, is buried. Ricky died when he was four. He was born with a hole in his heart. Something that today could easily be fixed. Sad. We also saw where Grampy's parents were buried, Grammy's parents and a few other family members.

We went over to the Hoffman's house for a luncheon. The Hoffman's are a fun family that grew up next door/across the street from my mom's family. They practically lived at the Tew house, or at least that's what it sounded like with all the stories. They were a fun group of life-long friends. There were also several family members that are still living in Seattle who were able to attend. Two cousins, Arthur and Heidi...and a few second and third cousins. Most of whom I'd never met, but it was great opportunity to do so.

At the Hoffman's home, many stories were shared. Many stories about growing with Grammy as their second mother. Stories about how much they loved Ricky...and how much it still hurt he was gone. It was so wonderful to see the love this family had for my mother's family...even all these years later. Richelle had a good point- I guess this is how I feel about Rachel Handly and her family. Her mother was my second mother growing up...I spent so much time with her family all those years ago...kinda made me miss all that.

Richelle and I even got to see an old picture of my mother from her teen years. They are going to e-mail it to me.

After a while we had to get going...we had so much to see still and had a very short time to do so.

Space Needle

When my grandma died a couple weeks ago, I expressed to my family I desperately wanted to attend the burial in Seattle instead of the funeral in St. George. Richelle said she wanted to go with me...and I told her she kinda had too. We were able to use two "buddy passes" Mike & I were given by our friend Cristina. They were about to expire, and it was the perfect way to get from here to there.

I met Richelle at the airport after my procedure. We checked our bags and headed for the gate. We talked about everything we wanted to accomplish in the 24 hours we would have there...we talked about the IUI...we talked about everything we could come up with until we boarded the plane. I've been fortunate in my travels...I'm not sure I've never sat at the very back of the plane. I am usually an emergency exit row kinda girl (if first class is full...haha) or forward (poor Mike is too tall for the tiny seats...). The only row available with two seats next to each other- the VERY last row. I didn't think much of it, until Richelle made mention the seats did not recline...in fact- I think they may sit more upright than the other seats. I also think they aren't as wide as the other seats. We laughed it off and enjoyed the free flight.

Luckily, we made a pit-stop in Sacramento. It was a quick 20 minutes to change planes and get back in the air. The second flight was much more comfortable and seemed a lot shorter than expected. I could feel myself getting excited to finally be back in Seattle. I have wanted to go back since I was nine years old. We spent an amazing summer there with my mom when I was nine...It's where she grew up, so it holds a significant place in my heart. Unfortunately, she's been gone for so long the place is somewhat empty because I haven't had stories or memories to fill it up. Until now.

As we flew in I was amazed at the amount of beautiful green trees...GREEN everywhere!! And water too...I was happy. I wanted off that plane so we could get out there and see it all. We landed, picked up our rental car and headed towards our hotel.

(Side note: I decided I would copy my only brother and try out priceline.com. I wanted to stay somewhere nice, but didn't want to pay for it. I decided I had nothing to lose, so I went for it. I told the computer I wanted to spend $80 a night for a 4-star hotel in downtown Seattle. I was quite nervous as I hit the confirmation button- there was no turning back now. turns out my brother isn't quite the moron we all think he is (Well- he is, but ya know...this one thing worked out) (love ya Bro). We stayed at the Sheraton Seattle for $80...$99 with tax. We were happy with our...I mean Priceline's choice.)

We checked in and headed for the Space Needle. It was sooo close...I had literally been waiting since I was nine years old for this moment. When my mom took us to Seattle, we planned to go there. We even drove to the Space Needle...then she saw the entrance price. I didn't understand at the time, but she said it was just too expensive. It was $8 a person. I was devastated. I wasn't mad, I was heart-broken. (I was nine...what can I say?)

I have wanted to go back ever since.

We found our way to the Space Needle. Bought our tickets. Waited for the cool capsule shaped elevator and finally took the ride up. We were about half way up when I realized I had never actually thought about the height of the top of the Space Needle. I don't have a fear of heights, per se. I have a fear of falling...which heights does not help (and no matter what Mike thinks...it's perfectly normal). I looked at Richelle the rest of the way up and it turns out we didn't die.

We walked around most of the perimeter, but the wind was crazy cold...so we went inside and looked at all of the cool stuff they had to play with. They had the history of the Space Needle...how it came to be and how it was "rejuvenated" for the millennium. They also had a really cool interactive "map" of Seattle...there were question marks you could touch and a blurb would pop up and give the information on that location. Very cool.

When we were done, we wandered around the gift shop and then drove back to the hotel. We took our stuff up to the room and realized it was almost 9 0'clock!! It was bright as noon...we were starving, but had NO idea how late it had gotten.

We quickly cleaned up a bit and walked toward the fish market. The concierge told us the restaurants were open until 11pm, so we figured we'd find something. On our walk down Pike Street, I realized we probably wouldn't be walking back. There were some questionable characters that made my instincts act up...and I don't like that (esp on vacation. vacation = no gun).

We got to the market and everything was closed. Everything. We stood and looked at each other for a few minutes trying to figure out what to do...when a market employee told us to walk down the stairs, through the alley (the dark alley with nobody close by to hear us scream), and out to the street where we'd find more restaurants on the water. We decided to walk with two Canadians who were headed that direction.

On the way down, they told us they had just eaten at a great place called Ivars. We walked past numerous restaurants...all closed for the night. It was only about 9:30...we were bummed. We finally found Ivars and they were open, so we went in, sat down and ordered a lot of food. I enjoyed King Salmon & Dungeness crab legs and Richelle order a stuffed chicken breast. We also had an appetizer of crab cakes (yum), shrimp cocktail & calamari. By the end we were stuffed.

We took a cab back to the hotel (dessert to-go in hand) and headed for bed. Richelle was so funny...so excited to sleep in her own bed with nobody to kick her, snuggle up to her, snore, etc.

Our IUI Procedure (and you thought cops used too many ancronyms)

We had a quick appointment with Dr. Behera on Tuesday morning. Our IUI was scheduled for 10am, so Mike & I drove to the office bright and early so he could do his thing at 8:15. We went for breakfast and then headed back to be there in time for our next step.

Dr. Behera came into the exam room to talk to us before the procedure. She wanted to let us know the results of the second analysis. The numbers were consistent with the first one, so we have some tough questions that will need answers in our near future.

She asked us if we still wanted to go ahead with the IUI...we just looked at each other. I asked her what her professional opinion was...was it worth it- both money wise and and actual chance of it working? She said she thought it would be worth it to go ahead this month, but she did not recommend doing again. At this point, it wouldn't be worth it (for more than one reason) to continue doing the procedure more than this one time.

Mike is going to see a specialist (a urologist), but unless there is an underlying issue we are unaware of...the numbers are going to be "consistent" from here on out. **sigh** The look on Mike's face hurt me worse then being punched in the face.

We went ahead with the procedure. It took about a minute and was painless. I had to lay there for about 10-15 minutes to avoid light-headedness. While I laid there, the nurse went over the rules for the hormones I have to take for the next two weeks. If I get pregnant, I will take then for another 9-10 weeks to help keep the pregnancy (since I don't make enough progesterone). (Could we catch a break somewhere, sheesh?)

After our appointment, Mike drove me to the airport so I could catch a plane to Seattle with Richelle.

We are praying this works. How cool would that be?! It would take a miracle, but hey- I think we're due for one right about now. :)

Fertility...or the Lack There Of

Since our last update, we have learned a few facts about our infertility issues. I'm honestly sick of talking about it, so I thought I would post the information here. That way everyone will have the facts and 20 years from now I can remember how I/we felt about all of this.

When we met with Dr. Behera last time, she did an ultrasound. She was able to see that I was nearing ovulation from my right ovary. Awesome. We were able to have "timed intercourse" as close to ovulation without paying for it...so we were pretty excited. A few weeks went by...and three negative pregnancy tests later...I started my period. Somewhere in there, I also did another round of blood tests.

We assumed that would happen, so we started with our new "plan". On days 3-7 of my cycle I took a hormone (in pill form) called Femara. On the 10th day of my cycle, I had another ultrasound and an HSG (hysterosalpingogram) test/procedure. During this same week, Mike also had to give in and do his semen analysis. He wasn't thrilled, but he got through it.

The day before my tests were scheduled, Dr. Behera called me and said she wanted to discuss the results of our tests before I came in the next day. She said she wouldn't be there, but Dr. Craig would be doing the procedure. I was disappointed she wouldn't be there, but since my tests had to be on the 10th day, it wasn't anyones fault the schedule worked out the way it did. Dr. Craig is who I was originally referred to, so I wasn't too worried about it.

She started with my results from the blood work. She said my progesterone levels were on the low side...low enough to know I do not ovulate. So although my body wants to ovulate, it can't. The egg we saw in the ultrasound was never actually able to be "popped". (I don't like the whole "popped" thing, but that's what they call it, so..??) She told me this was most likely fixable now that we know about it.

I also had blood drawn to see if I am a carrier of Cystic Fibrosis...I'm not. So I guess that was happy.

When she finished with me, she began with Mike's test results. Dr. Behera told me there is an issue with Mike's sperm count. The "normal" is 20 million per milliliter...anything under 20 million is considered "low". Mike's came back at 5.8 million per milliliter. Dr. Behara also explained she wanted Mike to do a second test to get an average, since the numbers can fluctuate. She continued by saying only 40% were good swimmers, which is also low. Because that wasn't enough, there is also an issue with the morphology of the sperm. I don't have all the details on that issue yet.

Dr. Behera said she thought it would be in our best interest to start this month with the IUI (intrauterine insemination), instead of timed intercourse. With the results she had so far, it doesn't look like conceiving on our own is likely. She also mentioned that we should schedule a time to come in and discuss our options.

It was a rough day.

The next day, the ultrasound went fine. The goal was to see what (if anything) the hormones had done. There was one follicle measuring the right size to be ready for ovulation and several others just starting to grow. Very cool to see. I actually understood what I was looking at this time. Having an empty bladder really helped (because there wasn't a HUGE black mass taking up the majority of the screen).

After the ultrasound, we scheduled a few things with the NPs. They took the information from the ultrasound and counted and measured when the follicle would be ready...and when they figured that out, we set a date and time for me to take the "trigger" shot. I inject myself with the drug Ovidrel and my ovulation can be predicted down to the hour. Pretty cool...I think.

So I do the injection (or I will actually make Mike do it) and then we go in at our scheduled time. Mike will do his thing and we will get another analysis out of it and the insemination will be done shortly after that.

We aren't exactly sure how we will be paying for all of this, but the first month we have what we need saved...after that..?? Who knows. This is the "cheap" part too...LOL.

After the scheduling, we were walked next door to the surgical office for the HSG. I changed and Mike suited up as well. The nurses at this facility are all amazing. So far I can't pick my favorite...they are all awesome.

(the pic is me prior to the test...that is obviously not the tall table I speak of.) :)

I climbed (literally) onto a tall table with very unique stirrups...not like the normal ones we're all used to seeing. The nurses got me comfortable and then explained what every piece of equipment was...then Dr. Craig came in and did it all over again. After we understood what was going on (kind of), they moved a cylinder shaped x-ray machine over my girl parts and they appeared on a large screen so we could all see.

It was so cool!! Everything looked a lot different than the text book picture I always envision in my mind. We could see everything as it was happening and the doctor was explaining it. We could see the contrast go through my uterus...and then through both tubes. Everything looked great. He then used an "oil" and pushed it through the same as the contrast. An HSG raises pregnancy rate by 25%...the oil he used (which Mike calls 10W-30) raises rates by as much as 300% (obviously all things have to be considered before this can excite anyone).

(this picture is one I found on-line...it's not of me. I wish I had a copy of mine, but oh well.)

I thought the test would at least be uncomfortable, but I didn't feel a thing. I was happy it didn't hurt and I was even happier there was nothing wrong with me...at least that part. Even the nurses were surprised I didn't feel anything, so that was happy too.

Mike dropped me off at work and that was that.

I have to say this is one of the hardest things I have ever dealt with. I have overcome some interesting obstacles in my lifetime, and I'm sure getting through this will be just as fun.

I am pleased with how far we've come in a short time. Had we not been willing to get a second opinion, we could have spent years trying and getting nowhere. I'm happy we have some answers, even if they aren't exactly what we hoped to hear.

Hashi-wha-ti-moto?

I'm pretty sure I'm the only person I know who was excited about turning 30. I honestly was...I'm not crazy; my life just seems to get better with time. Well, since I turned 30 in March life has handed us some lemons...and some medical issues.

After Mike and I got engaged, I started feeling not quite right. I blamed the change in my job, the wedding stress, the stress of getting/being married...house payments (plural), deciding where to live, the cost of the wedding, and on and on. The list of "ailments" was getting quite lengthy, but I honestly just thought it was life....or married life.

When I went in to have my IUD removed last March (2009), I told my (now former) OB/Gyn my list...he didn't seem to think there was any real problem. He removed my IUD and pretty much told me good luck starting my family. I asked him if I could have my blood drawn to give me baseline TSH levels. My three older sisters have thyroid issues and the onset was after pregnancy. I thought I would be proactive and see what my numbers were before pregnancy...thinking I would have a much easier time regulating myself if/when I had a thyroid issue after pregnancy. My doctor signed the order and told me he'd let me know if anything was abnormal. I continued to feel not quite right...and I continued to not be pregnant every month.

After 12 months of not conceiving, we made an appointment with my OB/Gyn. We were very unhappy with his "plan" for our infertility issues, but I think I already mentioned that here. He had me do another blood draw to test my TSH levels...just in case. If you're hypo- the body doesn't normally ovulate. I didn't think anything of it because I had them done 12 months prior and everything was normal...or so I thought.

When I never received a call saying my TSH levels were abnormal, I assumed they were normal...and whatever was wrong with me was mental. About a week after my second blood draw I received a phone call from a nurse in my doctor's office...she said my TSH level was too high at 6.44. I asked her what normal was and she told me 0.5 - 4.5/5.0. Hmm...I asked her what my test results were from a year ago and she told me 4.578.

WHAT!? I was so angry. If the high end of normal is 4.5/5.0....I'd say anything over a 4.5 is too high. After reading about it...and now talking to our fertility doctor and my endocrinologist, for my age anything over 2.5 is considered too high. I should be closer to a 1.

I quickly made an appointment with Richelle's endocrinologist, Dr. Dwivedi and started on a prescription for synthroid from by OB/Gyn until the endocrinologist could see me. After my appointment with him, I was pretty discouraged. He had me do another blood draw and we spoke for about 20 minutes. He made me feel quite a bit more comfortable, but he didn't sound very optimistic about my thyroid...based on family history.

The next day Dr. Dwivedi called me and told me his assumptions were correct: I have what they call Hashimoto's disease. Richelle has it too. This disease is an autoimmune disease that basically "antibodies react against proteins in the thyroid gland, causing gradual destruction of the gland itself, and making the gland unable to produce the thyroid hormones the body needs." (about.com) The good news he shared with me was that my TSH levels were already down from 6.44 to 1.8, so we were on the right track.

Pizza With Rae

For some strange reason, Raelynn asked to stay at my house tonight instead of her "favorite" sister...Richelle. Mike was off tonight, so we drove over and picked up Raelynn about 5pm.

We know Raelynn loves pizza as much as we do, so we headed to a new pizza place called Mellow Mushroom by the house. I had been there once before with Becky, but wanted Mike to try it...and Raelynn too.

We got there during happy hour, so we ordered the garlic cheese bread (since it was 1/2 of). It wasn't so good...not even worth the 1/2 price discounted price (or the calories). For dinner we ordered a small "mighty meaty" and a small pizza made to order. That pizza had a base of olive oil and garlic (my fav) with cheese (another fav), tomatoes, banana peppers, mushrooms & basil. It was delish!!

We had a nice dinner...just the three of us. But the two morons sitting behind us were making my blood pressure rise. They couldn't STARE any harder at Raelynn. She's not a freak show...and she behaves like any other person. She was so super cute and good at dinner too!! She ate very neatly...wiped her little face every other bite or so to make sure there wasn't any extra sauce on her cheeks. She used a knife and fork for most of her pizza too...just like we were doing. She totally chewed with her mouth closed (nearly the entire time...which is what I hope I was doing). She talked quietly (so she wasn't rude) we could barely hear her during our dinner conversation.

The idiots at the next table finished eating 15-20 minutes before we did...yet they continued to sit at their table and STARE!! Even Mike noticed...so I know I'm not just being over sensitive. I wanted to punch them. How dare they!? It did make me happy that Mike also wanted to defend Raelynn...

We took the high road and left quietly without saying anything...Even as they stared directly at Raelynn after she stood up and was waiting for Mike to finish with the bill. I honestly couldn't come up with anything worth saying that wouldn't have reduced my anger to tears.

Oh well. Their loss.

Gorgeous Girl

I have to say I have THE most beautiful nieces...there isn't one that isn't completely breathtaking. However, my eldest niece, Sydney Marie, is getting ready to (officially) graduate from high school and finally had her senior pictures taken!! I know my friend Natty is the world's most incredible photographer, but look what she had to work with last week...

Easter Sunday

This year for Easter I spent the morning picking up the house watching General Conference. The weather was beautiful outside, so after Mike woke up we went for a bike ride. I am so out of shape...the ride was very tiring. We rode the trails through the neighborhood, and then found a trail just north of Pinnacle Peak that led through the desert. What a fun afternoon!!

After our bike ride, we came home, showered and got ready for Easter dinner. My dad, Raelynn, Richelle, Anthony & the boys all came over about 4 o'clock to celebrate with us. My dad brought a ham, Richelle and I found some yummy potatoes at Costco, Mike grilled some asparagus, and I tossed our favorite spinach salad (also from Costco). The meal was simple, but tasty...and easy to cook & clean up. We were sad that Mom is stuck in California with Ryan's family, but I'm sure they have loved having her a few extra days (with or without pneumonia).

Mike and I have been waiting to find the perfect chandelier for our front entry way. We had Michael hang a temporary fixture (the one we decided would go in the dining room at some point) until we could find/afford the perfect one.

When we got our new kitchen table, we moved the one we already had into the dining room. Now that we had furniture in there, we figured we needed some light in there too. Mike had been calling the dining room the dungeon...but now there is light in there and a beautiful light in the entry way. We love it. I wish pictures did it justice!!

Movin' Rock

This is the second Saturday Mike has had some amazing friends show up to help him with our backyard. He wanted all of the (ugly) rock moved out so we could start fresh. It has taken three trailer loads full to clear out one side of the yard. We haven't even touched the other side...

Thanks to Patrick, Dave, Mike, Chris, Frush & Chris. We have been blessed with many, many friends that have spent many hours helping us with this house...we couldn't feel more loved.