Worth It

Just a few things I wanted to journal about our life so I never forget them...


***


Last night I put the baby to bed just like normal.  I read him a story, rocked him while he ate his "milkies" and he loves to have music on during this time.  Music always soothes him.  Before bed, in the car....I really love that he shares my love of music. 


Anyway...after he was done eating...and I was done cuddling/rocking him...I swaddled him and placed him in his bed. Mike and I were downstairs when we heard Blip on the monitor.  He normally doesn't make a sound once he's swaddled and in bed.  Occasionally he will fuss a bit, but a quick rub of his head and one more "I love you!" usually does the trick.  We have NEVER gotten him out of his bed once he's been put down for the night. Of course, he's never NEEDED us to get him up.


Mike and I went upstairs together...and as soon as Blip saw me he started to giggle.  It was full on laughing...at nothing.  He had gotten his left hand/arm loose, so I re-swaddled him....which made him laugh even more.  He just laughed and laughed....which made both Mike and me laugh and laugh.  I was talking in a super sweet voice, but telling him it was bedtime and that even those smiles couldn't make us break and get him up...which made him laugh and laugh...which made us laugh and laugh.  


I finally had to tell Mike we HAD to leave the room or it would never end.  That smile is so dang beautiful and that laugh is infectious.  I love all the little things Blip does...all the things that are really starting to show his personality.  He is still so content...just happy.  He rarely cries.  If he actually cries...we don't really know what to think.  Because he NEVER cries.


***


Blip found his voice this week.  He has learned how to screech.  It's an awful sound, but it's new...so we still like it.


He will be sitting in his Bumbo chair and he will screech.  After making all that noise, Blip looks around to see who made all that noise.  Then he laughs...I'm guessing after he realizes it really did come from him!


***


The drooling has been going on for a few weeks now, but there has been no sign of a tooth.  No bumps, no swelling, no crankiness...until tonight.


He did not nap well the last day or two, which is not normal for him.  I didn't think too much about it, but then tonight when I sat down to feed Blip his oatmeal/applesauce mixture, he cried.  Real tears.  I couldn't console him, so I removed him from the high chair and started his dinner with the bottle instead of the oatmeal.  I checked him over to make sure he hadn't been bitten by something, or something pinched in the chair...something.  Anything.  Nope.  He was fine.


I finally got him settled and comfortable. I let him sit in his swing for a bit while I finished making our dinner...then we tried the oatmeal again.


Blip was perfectly happy to sit in the high chair....just like the first time, but as soon as I gave him a bite...he cried.  Real tears again. Ugh.


I called Mike.  I'm not sure what I thought Mike would say/do from a patrol car, but I wanted him to say something.  He did.  He said he had no idea what was wrong...and what did I want him to do?  I had no idea, so I hung up and called Richelle.  She didn't answer.  So I called Regina.


Regina answered and I asked her, "What's wrong with my baby!?"  I'm sure she was confused, but I made sure the phone was close enough to the crying for her to hear it.  She told me not to force the food on him....which I wasn't.  She said maybe he just didn't want it.  Maybe he was overly tired?  Maybe he IS teething (a bit early)?  Maybe he doesn't feel 100%?


I hung up with Regina and made him another bottle...this one his normal size.  I gave him two teething tablets...just in case he wasn't feeling well because of that.  He didn't feel like he had a fever, so I didn't want to use Tylenol right away.


We had bath time...which seemed to help Blip's mood.  After he splashed and smelled delicious, we got jammies on and I rocked him while he ate his "milkies".  We listened to music while we cuddled...and Daddy came home to check on us and to eat dinner.


As soon as Blip was swaddled and in bed, he was out.  I hope he is not getting sick...and that he is just teething or having an off day.  He was definitely overly tired, though.  He only took a 45 minute morning nap (usually he takes 90 minutes to 2+ hour naps in the morning) and he only took another 45 minute nap this afternoon (usually he takes a 90 minute to 2+ hour nap in the afternoon too).  


I guess we'll see tomorrow how he feels...and if there is anything going on in his mouth.


***


Working full-time both at home and at work is the hardest thing I've ever done...and I haven't even been called out yet.  Mike and I have only had one day off a week together for about 4-5 weeks...and I hate it.  We can make anything work, but it is hard to cram everything WE need to do together AND behave as a family of three in one lousy day.  


I am struggling with only having two days off a week instead of three, but it allows me more time each evening with Blip.  I love my job...I absolutely love what I do.  I know to be financially secure (both now and in the future) we have made the right decision, but I am exhausted.  


It's hard to find time/energy to clean, cook, grocery shop, pay bills, read, do laundry, get our to-do list done, etc, etc in an hour or two a day.


I'm not complaining.  It's the truth.  I am hoping that as Blip grows, and being a mom becomes more "normal" things will fall into place.  There isn't anything I would change...unless Mike being able to make double his salary (and retirement $) so I could stay home was possible.  I know other mom's make all of this work, so I know I can too. 


I will say this:  I have heard stay at home mother's over the years complain about being soooo busy. I know SAHM's work super hard...and taking care of kiddos all day long is definitely hard work.  There is no question about that.  But once your kiddos start school...there is a lot more freedom for the SAHM to get things done.  Not to mention you can clean, cook, grocery shop during the day....yes- with your kids and that sucks.  But it sucks a lot to do it at night too...also with your kids after working all damn day.  And let's not mention appointments...and trying to schedule them AROUND a work schedule.  Or two opposite work schedules.  


I don't think I have ever heard anyone mention how hard it is to work a full-time job and then come home and cram ALL the stuff a SAHM does during the day into a few hours a night....try to get a few hours of sleep...then work another 8-10 hours (plus travel time)...come home and cram EVERYTHING that needs done into a couple hours at night.  It's a vicious cycle...and my kid is only 4 months old.  No sports.  No music lessons.  No scouts.  No friends.  No bike riding out front.  No swimming with friends.  No chores.  No homework.  We still just lay on the floor and coo at each other.  


I try my very best to give all my attention to Blip during the 2-3 hours a day I am with him.  After he goes down for the night, my next job starts- the house, the laundry, the dusting, vacuuming, bathrooms, mopping, cooking (or so I am hoping to start doing again on a regular basis like I did tonight)...


Everyone says being a SAHM is the hardest job in the world.  I agree....it's a lot of work.  BUT...try doing that full-time job and another full-time (or more than one full-time like many single mommas) job all day long.


I long for a day to stay home.  To have a day to devote to my family, to my house, to my list of errands.  I love getting to wake up to my baby...instead of an alarm clock.  Those days are so rare...I've only had one since going back to work in April.


I'm not complaining.  This is what we chose.  It's the right decision for us.  We have obligations we have to meet and there isn't anyone lining up to pay the mortgage every month...damn. :)  We do enjoy being financially secure, having good health insurance (at least until the city changes everything in 2013...thank you, Obamacare.) and being able to travel, buy nice things, and we never worry about having our needs met...or Blip's needs.


Doesn't make the hard days any easier.  I guess that's my point. Some day...when I have all this figured out...and life is simple again...I want to look back and remember that it was hard in the beginning.  But so worth it.

Daddy & His Boy

There isn't a lot to add to what these few pictures say all by themselves.

I love watching these two together.  It brings a happiness to my soul I have never known before.  I always wondered what this felt like...I am so thankful to finally know.

Boredom

Blip continues to grow and develop right before our eyes.  We've begged him not to, but he hasn't listened. :)  As the days pass, he is getting bored with life.  He is too big for this, but too little for that.  His attention span is (obviously) short, so it's interesting to keep him entertained, learning, happy....whatever the right word is.

He is starting to gain some strength in his legs, so I thought he might be ready for his exersaucer.  Last Monday night I put together his exersaucer that he got from Auntie Erin and Aunt Natty.  I put it on the lowest level and we put Blip in.  We laughed so hard...his feet were SO far from the base it was ridiculous.  He looked so tiny in that thing!  He needs more time to grow before he will fit in that and actually have fun. I didn't get any pictures of him hanging in his exersaucer...it was dang funny tho.

I bought a used exersaucer/bouncy seat thingy from a friend to send to Richelle's house.  It was only $30 and it's in great shape.  The used one is a Baby Einstein activity thingy-ma-jig.  It is the same idea as the exersaucer, but different.  

The Baby Einstein thing has a couple of setting much lower than the other one, so I thought Blip might do better in that one.  Nope.  He could touch the ground, but he was still too little to get it.  He looked at me like I was crazy and then we were done.

A bunch of reviewers on-line said for each product their babies started using them around 4 months.  I guess our baby won't be one of those babies.  Oh well...I guess he can play with the toys he already has out for now.

Honestly, if he would teach himself to roll from his tummy to his back he would be a lot happier.  When he plays on the floor, he immediately rolls to his tummy.  Then he's pissed.  He doesn't want to be on his tummy for more than a few minutes, and when he's done, he can't roll back over....so he just gets pissed.

Shots

Blip's 4-month shots didn't go down quite as easily as his 2-month shots (two different times).  He had absolutely zero reaction to his any of his 2-month shots.  I gave him a dose to two of Tylenol the first round, but for the second he didn't need anything.  I expected his 4-month shots to be the same.

Unfortunately, Blip had a little reaction...nothing severe, just a small irritation at the site of the injection and he felt like crap for a day or two.  It was awful (for me) to see him feeling so crappy.  

His shots were on a Wednesday afternoon.  I was actually off the entire day with Blip.  Mike had rifle training all day (0700-1700), but forgot to tell me until Sunday night.  I didn't want to try and beg anyone to watch the baby so early in the morning...and I didn't want to wake the baby up and drag him anywhere that early either.  I am lucky that my boss has a family and does this job, so he was understanding, flexible and willing to let me work a 4-10 schedule and take Wednesday as my day off. (I really enjoyed my schedule that week.)

When bed time came that night, I could tell Blip wasn't feeling 100%.  He continued feeling crappy through Friday evening.  Blip woke up on Saturday and seemed to be good as new.  The Tylenol helped with Blip's discomfort.  I was thankful for that.

He has one more of his 4-months shots to get between now and his 6-month shots.  Hopefully he won't have any reaction next time.

Oatmeal

One of my sad moments finally happened.  Another milestone for Blip.  As much as I love watching each little thing he learns, I really hate how quickly it's all happening.  I don't think I understood that Blip may truly be my only baby until he started getting so big so fast. Holy crap!  I want more babies!  I don't feel like our little family is complete yet.  It hurts my heart to know that it isn't our choice.  Not that I'm ready right now....don't get crazy.

At Blip's 4-month well check, Dr. J told me I could start feeding Blip rice cereal or oatmeal between 4-6 months.  She asked if he watches us eat...our schedule is CRAZY (and opposite of each other), so we rarely eat like normal people at a table at normal meal times.  I'm not sure he's had a lot of opportunity to watch us put food in our mouths.

He does know exactly what the bottle is...and where it goes.  When he sees a bottle at meal time...he looks at it and won't take his eyes off of it until it's in his mouth.  When the bottle gets closer and closer....he opens his mouth for it....and waits and waits.  It's so funny.

I have been putting off all of this eating business.  I wanted to wait as long as possible.  He can eat the rest of his life!!  Ugh...he's barely four months old!!  I have done too much reading...again.  I really wanted Blip to be closer to six months old before we started solids.  Oh well.

After numerous days of not sleeping through the night, I decided I would rather feed him solids and get my sleep...instead of waiting and be even more tired than I already am.

So I took Blip to Target this week to pick up some food.  I spent way too much time frustrating myself.  Debating between rice cereal and oatmeal.  I had already read too much about it...and still felt clueless, so I picked Oatmeal.  That's what Mike wanted, so what the hell...that's what we went with.

Then I wanted to grab a vegetable for next week.  I debated between peas and green beans...then I debated between regular or organic.  When I read the labels, I went for the regular.  Regular peas was made from peas and water.  The organic had a paragraph...and most of it I couldn't pronounce.  Which confused me, so I went with the regular peas.  Next we'll do green beans.  Then carrots, squash, sweet potatoes, avocado...blah blah blah.

By the time we left Target, I had a headache and Blip was hungry (read: fussy).


I decided that tonight was the night.  He was happy, so I just went for it.  I mixed the oatmeal, sat down with him and fed my baby boy. He did better than I thought.  He didn't cry or fuss.  He made some faces, but I think it was mostly confusion.

He let me put the oatmeal in his mouth...and I could see him tasting it and swallowing it.  He pushed a little bit out, but swallowed most of it.  He didn't eat much, but I just wanted to introduce him to it...so we will keep working on it.

Finally!

Sydney finally started a new blog to journal her life as a newly wed.  She told me she wanted to be able to look back and remember all the good and the bad that married is...in Rexburg. 


So far she only blogged one thing....her wedding! Yay!  


But I heard that there are about 10-15 saved titles, so that when she signs in she has some ideas to keep her new and improved blog going!  Her blog is still being touched up, so keep checking back for the complete site to be finished!


I miss my Syndey Marie more than words can say.  I am so excited to read her blog and keep up with her life as a newlywed.

The Onsie Says It All

Teddy Bear

When Blip was born he had the cutest "fur" all over his teeny body.  Especially on his shoulders...he was furry...like a bear. We started calling Blip "Cody Bear" the first couple days of his life.  His fur is all gone, but the name stuck.

Richelle and I saw a gigantic teddy bear at Costco on Saturday.  I told her I wanted to buy one, but ONLY to take pictures with.  I'm not the biggest fan of stuffed animals.  I think they bring clutter...and they're dirty.  Plus what do you actually do with them?  I'm not against having ANY stuffed animals, but who needs a ton of them?

So I didn't buy it.  I really didn't want one at the house, but it was so cute!  Ugh...I really wanted to take pictures with that dumb, huge bear.

On Father's Day, we went out to the parking lot to take pictures with Ken.  Ken walked over to his car...and when I looked back up he was walking towards us, but all I could see was BEAR.  It was so cute...my father-in-law walking through a parking lot, carrying a bear bigger than him.  It made me smile.

The bear filled the back of our Yukon...it made me laugh even more.  That stupid bear is so huge...and so cute.  I couldn't wait to get home, put Blip's bear hat on and take some pictures.

Since we have a playroom (aka a place to put all the baby crap), we decided we wanted to keep the big bear for our little bear.  I must have taken a hundred pictures on Monday after work.  I love my little bear.  He is so cute.  He is such a sweetie!

Father's Day

When I first met Mike, he was married.  It was our first day of post academy...his class had just graduated and I had just lateraled from DPS.  I, of course, noticed Mike the second he walked in....then I saw the wedding ring.  Damn.

We became fast friends.  We ended up at the same precinct.  We remained friends, but never saw each other outside of work.  Mike loved his wife.  It was one of the things I liked about him.  Sadly, it seems rare to find people happily married...and not looking for anything on the side.  I enjoyed our friendship, and admired him for his love and loyalty to his wife.

After his divorce...that was one of the reasons I agreed to date him.  I had my heart broken more times than I care to remember, but I did want to get married...have a family.  I wanted a future...I wanted all my dreams to come true.  There was a missing link to all that...a husband.  That part had to come before anything else could even be a realistic dream.  It was worth a shot.

Blah, blah, blah...we ended up married. Then we ended up in trouble.  Marriage was harder than we thought, but we struggled through it....add in a health problem or two and then we started trying to get pregnant.  Talk about stress. Whew...glad that's over.

When it never happened...the strangest thing happened.  We some how fell more in love....grew much closer.  I guess what doesn't kill you does make you stronger.

Mike wanted a baby as much as I did....sometimes I think he wanted it more.  I'm not sure how that could be possible, but it was always nice to know I wasn't in our struggle alone.

As much as I wanted a baby, I wanted to give Mike a baby.  I was on bed rest from the beginning...and it was awful, but I loved that we were home together those months after his surgery...both on our own type of bed rest. I loved that we got to lay in bed together...we could enjoy each other's company and feel the baby move at any moment.  No opposite schedule to work around.  There was no BS.  Just us...and our baby.

Fast forward...February 10th, 2012.  THE most amazing experience of my life.  Giving birth to my son was nothing short of incredible.  Watching Mike hold our son shortly after his birth...I can't' even come up with words.

We have had so much fun figuring out this parenting thing together.  I have never been so happy.  Being a mother is THE best thing I have ever done.  Watching Mike be a daddy is a close second. 

I love watching them together.  I love hearing them both laugh.  It makes it a lot easier to leave every morning knowing that Mike is actually excited to wake up and get to be with Blip.  I get cute videos or pictures during the day.  I love knowing he is happy spending his time off with our baby.  And I love knowing our baby is so happy spending his time with his Daddy.

For Mike's first Father's Day we spent time as a little family...while we spent time with our own dads.  We met Mike's parents for lunch at Texas Roadhouse.  Patrick, Sarah, Molly and Tucker also joined us.  We enjoyed some fattening food and each other's company.  We always have fun with that group. :)

After lunch, we put the baby down for a nap.  I worked on dinner and Mike ran out to grab drinks and one dessert I told Richelle I  would pick up...and then forgot about. Oops. :)

We enjoyed pot roast (cooked by yours truly) with potatoes and carrots.  When I was married to Kyle, I made pot roast in the crock pot.  I can't remember the last time I actually cooked a roast.  I volunteered to make the meat...and then shook my head.  Why did I volunteer for this?  Ugh. We wanted the meat fixed the way my dad loved it...so I gave it my best try.

Our guests included...Regina's family (minus the older girls...who are in Europe), Richelle's family (minus Anthony...who was sick), and my parents...and of course...Raelynn.

Dinner turned out pretty dang good...if you ask me. We enjoyed each other's company while the kiddos ran wild.  I absolutely love every second of the chaos.  The kids have so much fun together...running laps around our "track" (as Regina calls it).

I gave Mike his gift last night at midnight.  A new ice chest...the big white one from Costco...the one with wheels.  He loved it.  And we needed it.  The last cooler we bought is being held together with duct tape.  The gift I wanted to get him will come at another time after more research.

I am so thankful Mike is the father of my son.  He is a good daddy.  He loves me...and he loves his son.  I love watching them together...and Blip clearly loves his daddy.  Blip smiles and laughs for Mike like no other.  It's dang cute.

I can't wait to see how much fun our little family has in the days and years to come.  Our first family vacation is coming up in July.  I am so super excited.

Swim Time

We are still enjoying the Baby Splash class with Blip.  Mike is usually the one that gets in the water with the baby, but it's definitely my turn.  

Blip has already changed so much since our first class.  We've only been four or five times, but there definitely is a difference. He holds his head up like a champ...and he likes to grab and hold toys now too.

I love watching Mike and Blip together.  It makes me happy to watch Mike love our baby.  They are so super cute together...when Blip sees his daddy, he can't help but smile and giggle.

Cousins/Besties

Patrick and Sarah welcomed their son, Tucker James (Ike) on May 25th.  We had to wait until we weren't on death's doorstep before we got to meet him.  We were so sad not to be able to visit while they were trapped in the hospital, but we didn't want anyone (especially Tucker) getting what had plagued our house.

We were super excited when Patrick and Sarah found out they were having a boy.  We knew our boys would only be a few months apart...and we were so happy! Since we started our family a bit later than either of us "planned", we were disappointed at the thought of our kids not having any cousins their own ages.  At least Blip and Ike will be close in age.  Our next kid will have to figure out how to fit in with those two, I guess. :)