On My Deathbed

After posting the other night, whatever sickness I had got worse. Much, much worse.  I thought I felt awful on Tuesday and Wednesday, but I had no idea what was coming.


I thought I was on my way to feeling better, so I sent Mike to work on Wednesday.  That was a mistake.  I realized about 6 or 7 o'clock that I needed help.  I called Mike to ask him to come home, but he was sitting on (not literally) a prisoner at County Hospital, so I was out of luck.  Oh well...I figured I could handle it.


The baby needed a bath, but I did not feel well enough to attempt it.  I was feeling so sick by bath time that I didn't trust myself.  I washed Blip down with a washcloth and put his jammies on.  We skipped story time, ate as we listened to our music, I swaddled him, put him in bed, and then went directly to my bed.


I felt like I was getting a fever....I was sweating and shivering all at the same time.  My cough was out of control...my throat felt like my flesh was being ripped apart every time I coughed.


I have no idea if I called Mike and asked him to bring meds, or if he came home to find my deteriorating condition, but he did bring me meds that helped get me through the night.  I probably should have gone to Urgent Care, but I'm not taking my baby to Urgent Care and I didn't want to wake anyone up in the middle of the night.


By the time Thursday morning came, I was definitely worse than the night before. I knew Richelle was planning to take the baby around 12:45, so I stayed in bed until after the baby was gone and Mike could take me to the doctor.  Getting out of bed and getting in the car took everything I had left.  I would have paid good money for a doctor to make a house call.  I honestly can't remember ever feeling that sick.


Mike drug me to the Take Care Clinic at a nearby Walgreen's.  We waited for nearly 30 minutes before the NP came out to tell us she was taking her lunch break.  I almost cried.  Instead, we went home for about 45 minutes and then drove back.  It's only $20 and waiting an hour at home is always better than waiting forever at Urgent Care or the ER for way more money out of pocket.


We only waited a couple of minutes before the NP called us back. Mike helped me into the room...and then the NP (whom I've actually seen 3-4 times in 3-4 years) asked who Mike was.  After telling the NP that Mike was my husband, she asked in front of him if it was okay that he stayed.  Um....if he was going to kill me if I said no, I'm not gonna say no in front of him.  But thanks for checking.


Ugh.  By this point, I'm still sitting upright on the table, but I am imagining myself in the fetal position sucking my thumb in my warm, comfortable bed.  She made mention that she remembered seeing me before...and then asked a bunch of routine questions. She only repeated about 50% of them. Then she got to the question about having any surgeries...I responded by telling her I get a colonoscopy every other year.  Sometimes it's considered a surgery (because it's invasive) and other times it's just considered a procedure.  I wasn't up for the debate, so I just tossed it out there.  I guess to this lady...it's just a procedure.  Whatever.  Moving on.


She continued along the path of my colonoscopy history.  She read the word "maternal" out loud...and then said, "I don't know what that means."  My mouth dropped open as I looked at Mike...silently begging him to save her life.  Mike obviously knew I was nearing my limit, so he replied, "Randi's mom died when she was only 15 years old...from colon cancer."  The NP responded by saying something about not knowing what "maternal" meant and then said, "I guess it means on the mother's side."  Well no $%#* lady.  Now I was laying on the table....I was surely going to die in that room before she even got to me.


Then we came to the fun questions.  All about my current illness.  I was telling her that I was shivering so much my skin actually hurt.  And that the cough was literally tearing open wounds in my throat.  She asked me if I was having a vomiting or diarrhea...I told her yes.  She asked how many times, so I told her every time I went to the bathroom on Wednesday.  She asked how many times that would have been.  I looked at Mike (as if he could help me answer this) and blurted out, "I don't know, ten?"  


HUGE mistake.  She stopped, turned around and asked me if I really went to the bathroom ten times in one day.  I said I didn't know for sure, but a lot.  She started to tell me I needed to go to Urgent Care to get IV fluids if I had really gone to the bathroom ten times.  Luckily, we convinced her I had more than enough to drink, so she dropped the Urgent Care thing for the time being. 


She finally finished her stupid questions and started on me.  She took my temp...which was 103.  She swabbed my throat for Strep (I've never had Strep before) and it came back negative. My blood pressure, ears, and everything else she checked were fine.  She told me since I had only been sick for four days, she couldn't give me any antibiotics.  *sigh*  She did prescribe me two meds and recommended some over the counter meds. (I'm sure I will be back tomorrow for the antibiotics...she could have saved me the time and the $20.)


That woman must have repeated everything she said at least twice.  Every. Single. Thing.  It was so obnoxious.  I kept looking at Mike to see if it was all in my head, but when he would smile at me and shake his head...I knew I wasn't making it up.


And who doesn't know what "maternal" means period...Let alone in reference to CANCER?  Are you kidding me? If I had been up for laughing, we would have laughed a lot at that one...


I don't remember leaving there or making it home, but I ended up in my jammies in my bed, so some how that was all accomplished.  The next thing I remember was Friday mid-day.  I must have been given my meds, but I still felt like death.  Mike has been sleeping in the guest bedroom/Raelynn's room to try and stay as healthy as possible.  


After Mike put the baby to bed Friday night, we watched a movie together.  It's the first time the TV in our room has been on since at least January.  (What a waste of money every month!! ugh...I wanna cancel DirecTV so bad!!) By the end of the movie I was overdone...and went back to sleep until at least noon on Saturday.  Mike has been waking me to give me my meds, but other than that I've been sleeping this awful illness off.  


I laid in bed alone all day Saturday.  Mike took the baby next door to Shelbie's graduation party for a couple of hours.  I made the mistake of getting up and wandering downstairs...the house was a disaster, so I went back to bed.  My fever is finally gone.  My cough is only gone as long as I keep up on the cough meds.  My appetite is slowly coming back.  Since Monday, I've only eaten enough to qualify for one entire meal.  Maybe two by the end of Saturday.  The scale said I lost about 8 lbs...not the way I would choose to lose weight, but hey- I'll take it!


I haven't held my sweet baby since I put him to bed Wednesday night.  I miss him so much...especially when I can hear him laughing and playing downstairs and I am stuck up here alone in my bed.  I know, I know...in a few years I will long for a few hours to myself...let a lone a few days.  But for now, I just miss him.  I really, really hope he does not get whatever this was.  It was awful.  He will be hospitalized for sure if he ends up with it.  


I can't remember the last time I had a fever, or was this sick.  Maybe my double ear infections and sinus infection I got while we were at Lake Powell a few years ago?  But no fever then either.  I just felt awful.


I am so thankful Richelle was able to help with the baby so much this week...and I'm thankful Mike was able to take off to help me.  I'm disappointed to have had to take a week off work knowing I have no time off, but I guess that's what our savings account is (or was) for. :)  [No more money emergencies!!  Between family emergencies, truck repairs, my car needing tires, not yet receiving a full paycheck, and many other expensive needs...there  isn't much of a savings left.  It's time to stop having emergencies and start saving again!!]


p.s.  Our egg retrieval (ER) was one year ago today. :)  Oh how I love my little Blip.  So. Very. Thankful.