Moving Forward

We decided last Fall (after our last procedure didn't work) our next step would need to be __________. 

That was the problem. 

We weren't sure what our next step should be. 

We were trying to save money to figure out how to afford IVF or adoption.  We aren't against adoption, but we both really want to try to have our own biological baby before heading down any other routes.

I think we both felt helpless...and unsure where to turn next. 

We started watching every penny.  Which seemed overwhelming because every penny was already going somewhere.  We decided to pay off the few debts we did have so we would be able to figure out how to pay for IVF.  We were able to pay down those debts [other than our cars and house(s)] in a few months and we are now working on paying off our cars.  The 4Runner first.  Then we'll work on paying off the loan we just took out for IVF.  Then we'll pay off Mike's truck.  After that...we'll work on paying off the house. (I really fell in love with Dave Ramsey...and we haven't even gone crazy...yet.)

We are hoping the loan we just signed for this week will be the only one we need...at least for baby #1. 

I am already on the first round meds (Which is just birth control.  Odd, huh?)  I have to be on the birth control for a minimum of three weeks, but I could be on it indefinitely (but I won't be...no worries) until we decide to start our IVF cycle.

Thursday night, Mike and I attended an IVF Class at the Fertility Treatment Center.  We arrived a few minutes early (shocking, I know) and were surprised to see so many other couples there.  In all, there were 11-12 couples...I'm sure there for a variety of reasons.

The class was very informative.  We learned in-depth about the meds I will have to take/inject.  And how long I will have to continue to administer each one.  We learned about the time frame and about all the decisions we have to make about our embryos (should there be any leftover). 

We don't have any firm dates, but we will at our appointment next Tuesday.  No real decisions can be made until we meet with Dr. Behera and I have a more invasive (I don't think that's the word I really want to use, but I can't come up with anything else) ultra-sound to make sure I have no ovarian cysts or anything wrong/growing in/on my uterus.  We still have another week before my three weeks of birth control pills are up. 

I was really surprised how long it takes to "prep" my body for what's about to happen.  The birth control pills quiet (or suppress) my ovaries and then after they are quiet, I will inject myself with several different things to force my ovaries to over-produce. 

Picture of many follicles inside an ovary...not my ovary. Found pic on Google.

There is an egg inside each follicle...or there is supposed to be.

Then we have to force or "trigger" ovulation, but only at the perfect moment so the eggs can be retrieved (Day 0).  I guess that procedure is a tough one...I will be completely under and will need to be off work the remainder of the day...only doing things that are "non-stress". (Not sure exactly what that means...since this may be the most stressful thing I've done..??)

This is what a microscopic egg just post retrieval, not cleaned up looks like...

After the eggs are out, they are then fertilized.  After each good egg is injected with one good sperm, we have to pray some fertilize.  After the eggs are fertilized, they have to "grow" or whatever the right term is...

Found this pic of ICSI on Google too...

Picture of an embryo on Day 1 (thanks, Google)

Picture of assisted hatching...just prior to the embryo transfer on day 4 (thanks, Google)

On Day 4 two (we pray two) healthy, strong embryos will be transferred into my uterus.  I will be on "Princess Status" for the next few days and then I will have a list of rules for the next few days after that.  On Day 11 we will take a pregnancy (blood) test...if it's positive, there will be a lot to keep up with meds wise and non-stress wise. 

If it's negative- we're heading some place tropical.  No joke.  I made that decision today all by lonesome.  I figure we'll need to take break from life...and we'll need to do it some place we've never been before...with palm trees and hammocks...and boys that bring beverages and snacks.  Some place it won't matter that I gained 20 lbs in 6-8 weeks for no reason whatsoever.  (I have no problem gaining the weight...if there is a baby involved.)

This way is a whole lot different then the way we learned in sex-ed.

A lot of this awful process has had us asking questions, doing research, praying...anything we could think of that might help guide us in the right direction.  I feel very calm and at peace with this decision.  I'm still scared out of my mind...and I'm honestly intrigued by all of these new experiences, but I know we are doing what is right for us.  We'll never know if we don't try, so we might as well give it our best shot.

At this point, we're just going with it.  We aren't 100% sure about many parts of what's to come, but we know this is our only chance...and we really want this to be it.