Bed Rest, Ultrasounds & Boredom

I think I have been lucky in the fact that my emotions have remained pretty level...even with the extra doses of hormones being pumped into my body for months now.  One thing I have struggled with is the amount of weight I have gained thus far...and knowing there is more to come.


I understand I will not get to remain my favorite size six (and haven't been in memory now).  I am perfectly willing to lose the body I worked so hard for, but I never planned for what's happened.  I gained nearly 20 lbs from the InVitro alone.  I was told to expect that, but I wasn't prepared for it.  On top of that, being forced to sit on my butt for weeks and weeks (and weeks) is also taking its toll...both physically and mentally too.


I am struggling with all the extra weight...and the large belly I didn't expect so quickly.  I am struggling to sleep comfortably already...and that doesn't even touch all the nighttime potty breaks.  Those are killing me!! :)  Don't get me wrong...I love my baby belly.  All the complications and the too much down time are really getting old.  I honestly do love LOVE being pregnant...this is just my struggle, I guess (since there has been no sickness...).


I have spent an unbelievable amount of money on maternity clothes already...and I don't have enough.  I bought clothes to wear to work, but I am obviously not wearing dress clothes on the couch.  I have a few other items, wearing the same few things over and over is getting old.  Especially since I am a clothes whore...my closet is FULL and I love it that way.


Having aired all my extra weight...


Mike and I stopped at a maternity clothing store on the way to my appointment with Dr. B.  It was three stores in one, so I thought I would be able to find a pair of jeans or two for sure.  Well...I did, but not without my first set of tears.


I haven't cried since embryo transfer day.  Until yesterday.  I just want to find some clothes that fit...and I want to stop gaining weight like it's going out of style.  Pregnancy weight- fine.  All this extra sitting around weight...for no good reason...is driving me mad.  


I was heavy once before.  It took everything I had and then some to take that weight off. I guess I am terrified of that happening again.  I just miss looking like me...  


Now I'm just rambling.  It's my own personal struggle...and I will get over it.  I always do. :)


On Monday, after the tears...and lunch, we had our weekly appointment with Dr. B...it's my favorite day of the week.  Mostly because we get to meet with Dr. B, but the amazing ultrasounds we've been getting once a week are simply that- amazing.  I just love how she genuinely seems concerned and knows exactly what to say and what to do no matter what.  She is one of a kind.

Those huge dark circles on the side of my uterus are the cysts inside my huge ovaries...just FYI

This appointment's ultrasound was no different.  I think Dr. B may have enjoyed it more than we did.  She was so excited to see and to tell us that we could see the baby moving.  It was the best thing I have ever seen.  I also love that the baby's heartbeat is getting stronger and much easier to see.  In the beginning, the heartbeat was very faint, but now it is so prominent.  I love it.

She ogled with us at the ultrasound and made sure we could see and understand everything we were looking at.  After the ultrasound, I asked about the vacation/road-trip we have planned for next Monday.  She approved me to go as long as I have no bleeding this week and as long as my next ultrasound is free and clear of any issues.  She said I needed to get out and walk about every two hours...or when my bladder said it was time.  She said she thought the change of scenery would be good for me...and I agreed.