My birthday has been my most favorite day of the year for as long as I can remember. When I was little…I loved to choose what my mom made for dinner. She always had a gift for us, but I can't even tell you what gift I received for even one of my birthdays. My favorite part of the day came at dinner…somewhere between the meal and the homemade cake with ice-cream.  My mom always told us about the day we were born.  Not the private details, but the basics…how she felt when labor started, the times, the weight, the feelings she had when she held us and saw us for the first time. I wish more than anything I could have one more birthday dinner with her.

I know that's not possible, but that day has still always been my favorite day. I'm the only person (other than my own siblings) who was perfectly happy to turn 30. I wasn't sad, or distraught…I was thankful for another completed year. Your birthday really doesn't have to be about your age, just a day of celebration about you.

So this year my birthday was on a Monday, so I took the day off from work. Nobody should work on their birthday…ever. My day was filled with funs plans…I slept in (anything later than 4:30am is sleeping in these days) lunch and mani/pedis with my bestie, Blip's 2 year old photo shoot with Natty, and then a hot dinner date with my hubby.

Richelle and I had a great lunch at Oregano's...with NO children.  It was fabulous. We even shared a free birthday Pizzookie.  We left there and headed to get a manicure and a pedicure. We were pampered and finished just in time to get me home for Blip's photos…and for Richelle to pick up her boys from school.

We were driving northbound on 67th Avenue when my phone chirped. We were mid-laugh when I opened the text message…it was from a co-worker. The few words typed and sent changed life forever. There had been two Phoenix officers shot. By the time Richelle pulled up to the front of my house we had already learned one of those officers was our long-time family friend, John Hobbs.

I will be honest- when I heard John was involved, the panic I felt throughout my entire body nearly ceased.  It was ridiculous that John would be shot.  It was even more ridiculous that John could possibly die.  It just wasn't possible…I shook my head over and over saying out loud how ridiculous it was.

It was ridiculous, but it was true. We buried him a few days later. He died a hero...fighting every second he had left. Life will never be the same without John. I feel lucky that I knew John long before he was an officer. Even with a large amount of time between us, I got to work with him. He hunted my bad guys while I worked in Robbery. 

The reality of John's death was the hardest I've ever had to deal with. Someone who I'd known since I was 7 or 8 years old, who I looked up to in every way, someone I love like a brother. Life will never be the same. My birthday will never mean the same thing.