Notes

I have been feeling pretty bleh as of late.

And I mean Bleh.

I really had to stop and think about how truly blessed I am tonight before I ended up beyond bleh.

Not sure what comes after bleh...but I don't want to be there.

Random Note: I am putting together a garage sale to help fund our baby.  So far I have filled the garage an 1/8th full of stuff to sell...I am on my own in the endeavour.  Mike is anti-garage sale...and anti-helping for the sale.  I ask him to help me and I get resistance and then a fight...so I decided tonight I am done asking.  I lived on my own for over 8 years.  Surely I can put together a large garage sale all by my lonesome, right?  I don't blame him...I'm not mad.  Just add to the frustration of infertility.

Adding to my bleh.

Something Else: We have decided to get certified to adopt in Arizona.

I am not sure where we will adopt...or how.  To adopt through LDS Family Services...we both have to be Mormon.  Catholic Social Services requires us both to be catholic...Mike probably isn't Catholic enough for them.  Arizona Baptist Children's Adoption Services doesn't seem to think Mormons are Christian, so we can't adopt through them either.  Jewish Family Services...may be a hope, but not sure.  A lot of others are so expensive there is no way we could afford to use them. 

There is a lost of research still to be done.  I am getting serious about making a move toward adoption, but I am still wanting to try to get pregnant first.  I'm not sure how much longer that desire will continue, but getting certified to adopt is a good next step...for when that direction is our last hope at becoming parents.

The expense of adoption is really baffling...truly an outrage.  If adoption was more affordable, more people may be able to help all the children in need of good homes.

I am still torn. 

The pros of adoption would include: keeping my hips from spreading any further...not adding any stretch marks to my collection...no childbirth...and having the possibility of having a child that can do math.  Plus there wouldn't be any more negative test results.  I know there are more, but I am too tired to actually think about this.

On the cons side of the list: never getting to be prego...no childbirth...never having at a child that looks like me...always wondering where she got this or that from...maybe she'd be a lunatic (like my 2nd cousins adopted kids are...no...seriously)...what if she hated us because we aren't her "real" parents...or what if she hated everything because her mom "gave her away" (proper term is placed with)...and what if she still can't do long division in her head or pass chemistry? (would that still be our fault?)

Still having some mixed feelings...although I support adoption 100kabillion%.

Maybe we should just travel.  No mixed feelings there.  Lots of places to see and explore...maybe Richelle's boys will come see us when we are old and live in Friendship Village...we can leave our money to the ones that visit the most...and bring us Pepsi.

On a Side Note: The weather has been incredibly beautiful the last several days.  It's hard to be locked in an office when I just want to wander the streets of downtown Phoenix.  I got a new hat for the summer...I need to work on my bathing suit body, but at least the hat will be cute.